One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest...more like I'm About to Fly Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I recently started my psychiatry rotation at a hospital in Maryland. I was not too excited for this rotation because the world of psychiatry is not really my thing. Ok so it's no where near my thing. I've been there a week and I still can say that I dont really care for it but it is very entertaining. The doctor I'm with is once again amazing. He is nothing short of hilarious and extrememly knowledgable in his field. I've mostly been doing observation and following the doc around. Next week I'm suppose to start seeing patient's on my own. I still have no idea what it is exactly that the doctor does. It appears that his job is to sit and listen while his patient jabbers on about impossible nothings. He then adjusts there medications and off they go, happy as a clam. I have learned a good bit about psych though in the past week and not just from the doctor. The patients are excellent teachers just by being themselves. Here are just a few things that these patients have taught me this week:

1) There are better ways to punish yourself besides shooting a giant hole into your own hip.
2) Trying to eat a live pet bird straight out of a cage will land you in the psych unit quicker than you can floss your teeth.
3) Apparently shooting heroin feels very similar to an orgasm. Wouldn't it be cheaper to just give all these patients a vibrator rather than building methadone clinics???
4) Walking up and down Main Street proclaiming to be Jesus Christ is concerning to some people.
5) Don't piss off gang memebers. They will chase you all over the state of Maryland and stand guard outside of the hospital that you are in waiting for your release.
6)Listening to those pesky voices when they tell you to "kill" is a bad idea.
7)Don't live with your parents until your 52 because when they up and move to Florida and leave you behind you won't know what to do with yourself.
8)Electric Convulsive Thearpy will give you one hell of a headache.
9) 75 oxycodone + 122 morphine tabs = aspiration pneumonia and a psych admit (and no im not exaggerating, a guy really took that much!)

So like I said this is just a little glimpse of the priceless knowledge I am gaining at this institution. Imagine what I'll know next week!

It Just Keeps Getting Better

Today I assisted with my first c-section and tubal ligation. It was absolutely amazing! C-sections are unlike any other surgery in that you get a lot more in return than you do with any other surgery. They're also the most bloody/messy procedure I've ever been a part of it, which is probably one of the reasons why I loved it (i'm a bit of a weird one, i know). Also what other surgery do you get a kid out of the deal. For medical freaks like me surgery in itself is a huge thrill but throw a baby into the mix and it's one of the greatest highs to be found in the medical field. I won't tell you in detail what it looked like and how it all works because I know some of you don't particularly care for that stuff but if you're interested just ask me. Let's just say you know it was a good time if when it's all over you are covered in placenta, blood, and amniotic fluid!!!

In a previous post a talked about not wanting to have a baby the conventional way but instead would opt for a section. Well I have had a serioius change of heart. The other way looks much easier and is less traumatic. The time between when the baby was removed from the uterus to when the mother was out of the OR and able to hold the baby was two hours. I felt so bad for this poor woman. She kept asking how the baby was doing and you could hear the concern and edge in her voice. So to all of you ladies who think you would rather have a c-section over a normal delivery you should seriously reconsider.

Another thing I realized was that I participated in sterilizing a woman today. I'm not really sure how I feel about that yet. It's totally her decision and she's the one who has to live with it. I have no problem with it but actually being the person who cut her tubes in half is a weird feeling. I also realized that during my cardio rotation I did a defibrillator implantation. This requires you to stop the heart to test that the defibrillator is working. So after 2 rotations I have stopped a man's heart and totally demolished a woman's reproductive tract. I am quite the little sadist. When do I get to start saving lives instead of taking them away?

I've been doing ob/gyn now for a little over a week. I really like it but it certainly was quite the change from cardio. Cardio was a lot more intense and medicinal. I don't have to walk on egg shells in this specialty and I feel comfortable here. Here when I sit down with a patient they are completely themselves and have nothing to hide. It's refreshing in a weird sort of way. The doctor is very laid back and genuinely enjoys his students. I feel like I am his priority which is always nice. I think I may be getting spoiled with the good preceptor thing. Hopefully those to come can fill their shoes.

Last Friday was a hospital day. That means it's delivering babies alllll day!!! I had been looking forward to this day all week. Turns out it's not quite as exciting as one would think, unless of course there is an emergency. We had two patients to be induced at 8am on Friday morning. Basically the day consisted of checking the patient's progression every two hours to see if they were close to delivery yet. In between checking patients there really isn't anything else to do so you study/read. (Thankfully the nurses lounge had a comfy couch that now holds the permanent imprint of my rear end.) Around 2:40 we went in and checked one of our ladies and low and behold she was fully dialated and ready for action! The last delivery I saw was my sister's birth and I was 16. I felt I was prepared for this one because afterall I had seen this before.... Oh how wrong was I. It's a little different when you are one of the people ensuring this baby makes it out ok and the mother remains in one piece (relatively speaking). The moment the doctor says the patient is ready the room explodes into a flurry of controlled chaos. Sterile gowns and gloves, "tarps", gauze, incubators and so on are flying around every which way! I'm pretty sure my eyes were the size of bulb suringes at this point. And this is just the beginning. While watching this birth and this woman work harder than she ever has I decided that no person in their right mind would ever choose to go through this. I decided that there was no way on earth I would be bringing a child into the world via the southern route. Cut me open please!

The birth was not without complications. The baby was born grey with the cord wrapped around her neck. Thankfully the doctor was fast and experienced so he handed her off to the neonatal nurses and they were able to get her to pink up rather quickly. I will spare ya'll the remainder of the details because believe you don't want to see that. Watching this beautiful baby go from inside a woman's belly to kicking and screaming right next to me was truly a miracle. Now I know why women choose to give birth, they can fully experience their childs first moments in life. And that is something nobody should miss.

This day was one of the greatest adrenalin rushes I've ever had. I can't wait for the next one!