One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest...more like I'm About to Fly Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I recently started my psychiatry rotation at a hospital in Maryland. I was not too excited for this rotation because the world of psychiatry is not really my thing. Ok so it's no where near my thing. I've been there a week and I still can say that I dont really care for it but it is very entertaining. The doctor I'm with is once again amazing. He is nothing short of hilarious and extrememly knowledgable in his field. I've mostly been doing observation and following the doc around. Next week I'm suppose to start seeing patient's on my own. I still have no idea what it is exactly that the doctor does. It appears that his job is to sit and listen while his patient jabbers on about impossible nothings. He then adjusts there medications and off they go, happy as a clam. I have learned a good bit about psych though in the past week and not just from the doctor. The patients are excellent teachers just by being themselves. Here are just a few things that these patients have taught me this week:

1) There are better ways to punish yourself besides shooting a giant hole into your own hip.
2) Trying to eat a live pet bird straight out of a cage will land you in the psych unit quicker than you can floss your teeth.
3) Apparently shooting heroin feels very similar to an orgasm. Wouldn't it be cheaper to just give all these patients a vibrator rather than building methadone clinics???
4) Walking up and down Main Street proclaiming to be Jesus Christ is concerning to some people.
5) Don't piss off gang memebers. They will chase you all over the state of Maryland and stand guard outside of the hospital that you are in waiting for your release.
6)Listening to those pesky voices when they tell you to "kill" is a bad idea.
7)Don't live with your parents until your 52 because when they up and move to Florida and leave you behind you won't know what to do with yourself.
8)Electric Convulsive Thearpy will give you one hell of a headache.
9) 75 oxycodone + 122 morphine tabs = aspiration pneumonia and a psych admit (and no im not exaggerating, a guy really took that much!)

So like I said this is just a little glimpse of the priceless knowledge I am gaining at this institution. Imagine what I'll know next week!