You never know what's going to walk through that door.

Last week I was doing office visits which tend to get a little rountine and monotonous. It was the next to last appointment of the day and was just a follow-up so I assumed we'd be in and out in no time. HA...famous last words!

I could hear her coming down the hall. She was yelling because she was here to see the doctor no one else. After 5 minutes of convincing her that we were all qualified to do this and that she could talk to the doc before she left, she finally caved. The first red flag came when she told me that the 30 day heart monitor she had been wearing was causing her to have heart attacks everyday. That's impossible because a heart monitor can only MONITOR you. I let that one slide chalking it up to her lack of education. I proceeded with her H&P and found that she was convinced all the doctors in the world had a conspiracy against her and weren't telling her that they screwed up somewhere. Now I'm thinking that she is looking to sue someone. Which is just great because now I have to walk on egg shells and think twice before I say anything. I finished her phyisical exam and asked if there was anything else. She then told me that "there's a lot going on inside my body." I didnt comment but she just kept going. She then told me that people snuck into her house at night and "cut her hymen off" while she was sleeping. CRRAAZZYY! First of all, we all know that you can not cut that thing off! Second of all, who talks about their vagina in a cardiologist office! Lucky me...

I just sat and stared, probably with my mouth hanging open. She didn't stop there. Next she said that little people have figured out a way to get inside of her body and are controlling her from the inside out. It was at this time that I decided that she did indeed need to see the doctor! W-O-W. And this isn't even a psych rotation. I'm afraid to see what's coming through that door next.